Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Loneliness Part 2: A Few Reasons Why We're So Lonely


Last week, I wrote that more of us are lonely than we might think.  As I've talked with women, I've been amazed to discover that so many are lonely, even the ones that we usually think have lots of friends.  And I've come up with several reasons that we might be lonely.
  • A life change.  Getting married makes it hard to be around single friends.  Having a baby separates women from their friends without babies.  Divorce, change in job status, there are many things that can make us feel estranged from our friends.  In my case, a couple of moves have separated me geographically from my friends.  Although we do still keep in touch, it's just not the same.
  • Unwillingness to be vulnerable.  It's hard to open up to the women around us and tell them just how lonely we are, how much we need a friend.
  • Being too picky.  When I was a child, there were many boys in my neighborhood but only two girls.  Neither girl went to my school or my church, and both were older.  But we played together because it was that or nothing.  Now I find myself thinking, I can't be friends with her because her children are older (or younger), or she doesn't have any children at all.  But just because we aren't in the exact same life stage with the exact same beliefs doesn't meant that we can't be friends.  Maybe we need to reach out to women who are a little bit different to get the fellowship we need.  And maybe that friendship will develop into something better than we expect.
What do you think?  Can you think of another reason so many women are lonely?

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